Avid observer

do you know

what's the one thing

that is 

the hardest 

for me 

to do

as 

an avid observer?

it's pretending

pretend that

it's okay

it's normal

pretend that

I don't see you

I don't know if you are there

pretend that

nothing gonna happen

it's okay

it's normal 

no 

it's not

the more I pretend

the more my heart felt wrong

that's probably why

I end up 

saying hurtful things

as 

the sentences that I want 

to say 

is actually light

but 

I hesitated

yet

the situation became worst

the only left 

for me to say

are hurtful things

to people with wound

I'm not sorry

for the hurtful words

I'm sorry

because I didn't 

tell you earlier

maybe it's you

your personalities

your characteristics

your surroundings

I know exactly 

what your reaction 

will be

at the moment

that's why

I didn't tell you